It's Ok to Say You're Not OkJan 30, 2023 ● By By: Thadeus Giedd
By: Thadeus Giedd
“Hi, my name is Thadeus Giedd, and for the last 2-3 months, I have struggled with bouts of depression. I’m doing ok, but I am not doing great at the same time.”
Those were the first words of a post I wrote a year ago on my Facebook page. It was a public statement I felt necessary to make, but I hated sharing the inner workings of myself at the same time. After sharing, though, the comments were flooded with understanding. And I used my public acknowledgment to friends, family, and colleagues, as well as my own will, to make changes and take those micro steps to be better.
Backing up slightly, in mid-2021, my wife Chelsea and I were placed our baby by way of adoption. After infertility struggles and having a first adoption fall through, we suddenly received a notification that a birth mother had selected us as parents. The year was full of rollercoaster emotions, and there was an absolute honeymoon phase of becoming first-time parents the way we did. But about nine months in on the journey of parenthood, new realities also came.
Many people talk about the amount of happiness that occurs with a child coming into their lives,
and they are exactly right. Adopting our son has brought the most joy I’ve ever experienced. But for me, I also feel expunged of some happiness. There are two sides to a coin with becoming a parent, and I don’t feel we talk about it enough. For as long as I can remember, I lived a life of activeness and independent freedom. And that just isn’t the case anymore. I made new priorities for my son, and a lot of the “free time” things I used to be a part of are now sacrificed. My life completely changed this year, and I’m juggling those ongoing changes.
I think I’m going to be alright. I’m very optimistic. This is all a part of necessary navigation on the blue planet, right? I share this because after 5,000 responses of “Good” when asked “How are you?” during the day, it feels authentic to say, “Not great” one time.
Depression is different for every single person. I have not been to a level of being prescribed anti-depressant medications, but I know those are helpful for a large portion of people. My depression bouts are unique to me but sharing them with those around me when the time comes does offer some boost where boosts are so needed. It isn’t an embarrassment to be in a lull. While it feels awful, what’s worse is sitting in it longer than it needs to be. I hope others can find their ‘boosts’ and not feel hesitant about their own sharing.
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