Meet the Fergens: Finding Family through Faith
Aug 30, 2018 12:13PM
By The Hood Magazine
“When we were dating, we started discussing plans for our family. Shortly after we got married we began talking about it again. I was ready at this time, knowing the adoption process could take a while, but Danny wasn’t,” said Kansas. “Then two weeks later, after some prayer, he told me he was ready. It was then when we started the adoption process.”
Their family started growing and it happened quickly.
“Shortly after our one-year anniversary we were chosen to adopt Coyer at just nine-months old, said Kansas. “Then a few months after that we found out we were pregnant with Kedren.”
She’s also quick to point out that the kids and their ages are not a reflection of when they joined the family.
Here’s a snapshot of each:
Attwood (6 months)
Growing into a family of eight didn’t come without some hurdles. Between having biological children and adopting, it wasn’t always a smooth road, but it was worth it.
“At one point we were chosen to adopt a two-month-old baby boy. We had him for six days and on the sixth day, the mom decided she wanted to parent him,” said Kansas. “We were heartbroken as we flew home without a child.”
Not long after, Daeston was born. The adoption agency waited 10 days before calling the Fergen’s to let them know another child was chosen for their family.
“We decided to fly down to North Carolina as a family to experience joy together,” said Kansas. “We invited our kids part of the entire application process. They helped us with fundraisers; bake sales and whatever they could. It was a really good experience and helped them understand what the adoption process was like.”
For three years the Fergen’s were content. They were enjoying life and enjoying their children but still continued to talk about if they wanted to grow their family. They were starting to think about foster care when they got an unexpected email.
“In July of 2016, we got an email from a friend we met through our adoption community and the email read that there was an eight-year-old boy from Minnesota looking for his forever family,” said Kansas. “He was adopted from Ethiopia as a toddler and this current family was looking for another family for him. I got the email and called my husband right away. I thought he would say it’s crazy, because I’m more of the 'yes' person, so I expected a 'no' from him, but he said yes!”
Not long after, Oaklin joined the Fergen family. But the family wasn’t complete just yet.
“So here we are with five kids and they all wanted another sibling. Oaklin specifically asked us to have another baby,” said Kansas. “About three months later we decided to grow our family biologically and now we have Attwood.”
So how do they do it? Kansas says, it all comes down to schedules and being organized.
“We get groceries on the same day each week and we have a weekly meal plan,” said Kansas. “We shop stores with the best prices and buy in bulk. We are also thrifty people. We shop clearance and sales, our kids have grown up that way so that’s all they know. We also don’t have cable. We cut costs where we can because we prefer to travel. The kids often prefer to forgo gifts so we can travel and do more adventures. We prefer family time over things.”
Families might be able to learn some things from the Fergen’s. Despite having a big family, they find ways to make it work in everyone’s favor.
“There is a bin and label for everything in our house,” said Kansas. “Our kids do chores, if you are part of the family you’re going to chip in and help where you can. We focus on loving and helping each other.”
In the end, she says it helps the entire family grow together and live a life full of love and happiness.