How To Be Cordial with Your Ex
● By Hood Magazine
You may now be finding your way into the world of
co-parenting and what may feel like a world of “yours” and “mine.” The
following are a few tips to keep in mind as you navigate this reality.
situation through your child’s eyes. Children who have the highest level of
well-being have parents with low conflict. Refrain from speaking poorly about
your ex in front of your children. By remaining neutral or omitting any negative
thoughts, you provide an opportunity for your child to love both parents and
take responsibility for your role in encouraging a healthy co-parenting
Acknowledge what you
can’t control. Frustration can quickly
build if you attempt to control your ex-spouse. What you can control is how you
engage in your relationships. Choose to focus on positive ways you see the
children coping with transition in your home. By sharing these techniques, you
can offer consistency for your children and ease tension for all involved as
your family navigates these changes.
Take care of
yourself. Pay attention to your own emotions and allow yourself to grieve the end of your
marriage and acknowledge the good and bad things you are stepping away from
with the divorce. As you slow down and understand your emotions, you are
free to interact in ways that the past doesn’t have to be present with each
exchange between you and your ex.
Special Occasions. At times in your journey as co-parents you will encounter occasions that have you celebrating your child together. Graduations, weddings and other special events are unique opportunities to build up your child and reassure him or her that even though you have chosen divorce, you and your ex can still unite to show your love and support for your child.
Overall, acknowledge that your family life may be different than you planned, but it does not have to keep you and your ex from communicating care and concern for your children. You don’t have to sort out all the past difficulties to appreciate the wonderful children you share. Allow yourself to redefine your family in a way that cultivates the best of you and your ex for your children.