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The Hood Magazine

Calming the Party Pressure

Apr 25, 2015 01:12PM ● By Hood Magazine

Photo courtesy of The Event Company

By Rebecca Wiener, CCH Consulting Hypnotist and Work & Life Strategist at Heal With Hypnosis LLC

There is a lot of pressure on parents about how to celebrate birthdays. So much anxiety and so many questions:

  • How do we compete?
  • How do we set apart our celebration?
  • What makes our party special?
  • How much money do we have to spend?

Now the parties are becoming so big, parents are staying to enjoy the festivities. That brings more questions:

  • Who do we invite? Work parents, school parents, or church parents?
  • Do we serve adult beverages?
  • Do we have cake or food?
  • Does anyone have allergies?
  • What will the other parents think?

No matter what we do, we feel let down. Then there is the struggle between partners who may not agree on how elaborate to make the party.

Is it really for the kids? Many children get stressed with too many people, too many activities. Some children learn to feel entitled to get what they want when they want it, and can’t understand the difference between want and need. That feeling of enough moves further and further away. This creates more pressure.

This is really not about the party, is it?

Internal pressure to do the best, biggest, most beautiful, spectacular event is really about your own desire to be accepted and “good enough.” Yes, the secret is revealed. If you’re feeling pressure of any kind in any event, it’s time to take a look at your value. Your value has nothing do with anything that you do, or party that you create. Your value is in your spirit.

Decide to bring value to your child’s life by stopping. Stop comparing and creating questions, stop repeating actions that cause unnecessary negative feelings without learning from them. Why? Because your child feels what you feel. You know that feeling you get when you walk in a tense room where you can cut that tension with a knife? Your child feels that when you’re under pressure. Since your child loves and trusts you, their subconscious mind decides in a split second: This is how to feel in this situation!

I know you don’t want to teach that lesson. Telling them not to worry is like pointing out when to worry. Lead by example. Do what truly feels good and fun and compromise with your partner. Trim the guest list or do something without guests. Most importantly, make happy memories.