How Do You Share Your Children's Adoption Stories with Them?
03/21/2015 03:15PM ● Published by Hood Magazine
Three of our four children were adopted through foster care. For us, it is something we discuss frequently in our home. Each of our children knows their own story and loves hearing it over and over. “Tell me about the day you first met me” has become their favorite bedtime story, and their faces light up as they hear about those precious moments. Because our children are still young, we have shared just the basics about their birth parents. They all know whose tummy they were in or who their mommy was when they were a baby, but they also know we were chosen to be their parents forever. Our oldest has been known to ask random people if they are adopted or not. To him, it’s like asking if you are right-handed or left-handed.
Did you create a lifebook?
Yes! We created lifebooks for all three of our adopted children, and we look back at them from time to time. As all children do, they love seeing pictures from when they were little. Their lifebooks include photos of their birth moms. Sometimes they bring about more questions, and sometimes they just enjoy seeing the pictures. The lifebooks also include photos of important days like the first day in our home and pictures from court at their adoption finalization. These photos will continue to prompt conversations and help our children understand their own stories better as they get older.
What advice do you have for families who have adopted or plan to adopt?Every child, every family, and every situation is different. We have chosen to be very open with our children and talk about adoption frequently. We have also connected with several other families. It is very helpful for us as parents to talk to other families who “get it” and for our kids to meet others who have been adopted. There are some wonderful adoption therapists in Sioux Falls who has been crucial for our family as well. Having a strong support network is essential!